A/N; This takes place after Saph has seen her adopted family in the
parallel universe (who have no idea who she is) and is running around
panicking. I've been meaning to post for a long, long time :P
She bolted through the streets, the wind tearing at her face and hair. The
long brown strands tangled in her face, obscuring her vision, but she continued
on blindly, narrowly dodging walls and parked cars. Her feet pounded in a
steady rhythm, the only steady and reliable thing in this world. Her head was
spinning, too full and loud and confusing and so she just ran.
But her legs and chest were starting to hurt from sprinting this far.
Corners and people and streets whirled around Saph and her breathing was
getting shallower, louder, until she was gasping for air and the small, fragile
little girl crumpled to the pavement, searching her pockets for her inhaler.
She took three quick puffs, ignoring the concerned passers-by. Deep breaths.
Deep...
Somehow she got to her feet again and started limping, fighting through the
dizziness brought on by the Ventolin. Every muscle in her leg ached- although
not as much as her head- but that was nothing compared to how it had felt to
see her sisters and not see the love and recognition in their eyes. Her
sisters, who had mopped up her tears when she needed comfort, who had taken her
in when she had no-one, who woke her up each morning with smiles and laughter,
who she loved more than anyone else.
It's not them, Saph told herself sternly.
This is a different
dimension. They aren't my real family.
So why does it still hurt?
She should go home, back to Blogland- and she would, soon. But Saph needed a
little time to calm down. She didn't want her friends to see her in this state.
Just a few more minutes...
**********************
The fresh air was tinged with the scent of food and the sound of laughter.
Sunshine beat down on old rocks as people flowed around contently, chattering
and pausing to admire the market stalls that had sprung up around the town
square.
It was a picturesque scene straight from a book, almost too good to believe.
Saph stood completely still, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to enjoy
the myriad scents that touched the air. Flowers, meat, fresh bread- a wave of
dizziness and hunger made her take another look around before she headed for a
table selling seafood.
Something collided with her legs, painfully hard. Saph staggered in surprise
and looked down to see a mess of dark brown hair.
"Sorry!" whimpered a black-haired boy of about five or six. He
looked up with big, fearful eyes set in a delicate face.
The world began to spin, blurring around her and the only still point, the
only thing she could see was a pair of bright blue eyes, the colour that
only her own could be.
But these weren't her eyes.
They were the eyes of her little brother.
*********************
His mouth was moving, lips wobbling as he apologized, babbling. This little
boy was on the brink of tears.
Sound came back into her world, fading in like a speaker being turned up.
"-sorry, I'm sorry, please don't hurt me! I just want to go home!"
He was backing away, stumbling backwards as tears started to trickle down
his chubby toddler cheeks. Saph forced her mind to work again, realising she hadn't
spoken or even moved. She was staring at him so hard it was probably terrifying
the poor boy, so Sapphire blinked and crouched down so that they were the same
height, ignoring the crowd still surrounding them.
"Sorry," she echoed him, inwardly wincing. She tried to be as
calming and kind as she could bear right now. "I didn't mean to
frighten you."
The boy tilted his head down self-consciously so that a black fringe covered
his forehead. He blinked those bright eyes- wow, was the colour really that distracting?
- back at her, still wary and afraid.
"What's your name?" she asked as gently as possible.
He sniffled at wiped one eye with the back of a faded red sleeve.
"Robin." His voice was quiet, timid.
"Are you lost, Robin?" Saph questioned. The back of her legs were
beginning to protest against her uncomfortable squatting and her coat was being
trodden on, but she ignored the distractions.
Robin hesitated, before nodding once. His little mouth crumpled and she had
a sudden, fierce, overwhelming desire to wrap her arms around this lost
boy, the first real family she could remember, and never let go. Was this what
it was like to know someone who shared your blood?
She straightened up again to full height and tentatively reached out a hand.
"Would you like me to give you a piggyback so you can look around?"
A pause, and then another nod. Robin's cubby little fingers curled around
her pale battle-scarred hands. Saph twisted around so that he could jump up and
felt the surprising weight of him on her back. She held on to jean-clad legs
as his young arms wrapped around her, tighter than the vice squeezing her
heart.
She slowly turned in a circle, letting Robin look around for whoever he'd
been with, overly conscious of the fact this was her first real contact with
her brother. His black hair tickled her jacket-clad shoulders and hot breath
warmed the back of her neck. Saph wondered what the odds were against this
little boy, out of anyone in this dimension, running into her. Surely it was a
massive coincidence!
But Saph was a Sensitive. She had seen the threads of fate and knew
that however randomly they appeared to have been woven, there was an intricate
pattern that would only ever lead her into pain.
"You look like Lucy," Robin said suddenly, snapping her out of her
thoughts.
"Who's Lucy?" Saph said absent-mindedly, scanning the area for
anyone who appeared to be looking for Robin.
"Lucy's my big sister!" Robin announced proudly. "She's
brave and tall and she likes to play with me. And she always tells me she loves
me
this much!" He tried to spread his arms to demonstrate and
nearly fell off Sapphire's back.
"Careful!" she yelped, catching and straightening him. "Just
concentrate on holding on."
She wasn't sure how she was holding on. Inside, her thoughts were screaming
and bouncing off the walls in her mind.
Lucy, she thought.
Is that
me?
Robin didn't seem to be bothered by nearly falling and just played with her
hair.
"Your hair is darker," he said thoughtfully. "And Lucy's
older." Her brother started giggling. "She's old, old, old."
Watch it, Saph thought.
I'm older than you think. Except...
Saph didn't actually know how old she was. That was a disadvantage of losing
your memory and your life- as far as she was concerned, her life had started
with her lying on that sick bed. Scared, confused, feverish, and completely
alone in the world.
The realisation hit her so hard, she stopped in the middle of the square.
She and this 'Lucy' were different people. All Lucy had ever known was her
family. But Saph couldn't remember having a family, didn't share any memories
with her parallel opposite. Robin obviously came from a mortal home, with no
weirdness or magic. She had Lucy and no common ground, no shared memories, no
similarities in their lives at all. There was only one Sapphire Iota.
I'm the only me, she thought.
The only me in any universe I've
ever heard of.
"Mummy! Daddy!" Robin yelled in her ear and she started, almost
letting go of him. Then her heart processed the words and suddenly pounded,
slamming into her chest and echoing in her ears.
Please, please, she
thought, but she wasn't sure if she was wishing to see them or not. There was a
kind of fear she'd never felt before, but hope shone in her mind bright enough
to let her turn, turn and see where Robin was pointing.
But he had leapt off her shoulders and ran as fast as his short legs would
allow towards a couple in the corner.
"Mummy!" he squealed again.
The woman spun around and a relieved smile broke across a beautiful
face that was only marked by laugh lines. Long blond hair traced its way
down elegant shoulders. She was no film star and something about her face was
tired, weathered, but Sapphire thought she had never seen anyone more beautiful.
"Robin!" she cried in a voice so full of love that Saph had to swallow
hard and remind herself that
this was not her
mother.
He ran into her arms and she hugged him tight, tears leaking from green-grey
eyes. The man, a gentle giant with brown hair put an arm around her
shoulders and gently drew them both towards him so that they were locked in a
group hug.
Saph should have gone hours ago. The others might be wondering where she
was. She had things back home to do, people waiting for her. There was no sense
in hanging around here. What had she been thinking? Just get out of here now.
Get out. Get out get out getoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetout.
She began to back away, aiming to subtly slide out of view behind a food van.
"This nice girl helped me!" Robin declared happily, turning around
and gesturing at Saph.
She was frozen in place, suddenly afraid to look up, afraid to catch her
parent's eye. They were looking at her now; she could feel it, imagine what
they were seeing. A girl a few years younger than their daughter, an
apparently shy young woman with long, dark brown hair. Black jacket, jeans
and a blue top. Worn black boots scuffing the dirt, with her hands in her
pockets and head down. If she looked up, would they notice that her eyes
were the same colour as the eyes of their son and daughter? What would they think?
“Thank you,” her mother (Saph couldn’t think of her as anything else) said
cautiously, curiously.
“You’re welcome,” Saph replied as she took a few awkward steps forward She
was right in front of her parents, close enough to smell aftershave and
perfume, but the courage to look up had abandoned her. “I’m glad Robin’s okay.”
“So are we,” her father said dryly. Sapphire saw his feet turn to face Robin
as he knelt down to pick him up. “Don’t you run off again, little man!”
Robin squealed again, kicking and twisting and laughing.
Somewhere in front of Saph, her mother laughed. “Boys. Why did I marry one?”
Finally, Sapphire Iota found the courage to raise her face to look at her
mother, to really examine her for the first time. Her hair was different, that
was true. And neither of her parents had the bright blue eyes Saph and Robin had
inherited, which puzzled her. Her father was rugged but gentle, full of content
confidence. Her mother displayed an unintentional beauty that Saph had never
had. Even the way their faces were set out was different!
But she watched her family, saw her mother laughing, and realised that they
did have something in common. Their smile was the same.
This moment was something she had wished for, dreamed of. To see her family
happy and whole.
But the pain in her heart reminded her that she
wasn’t the one who could make this family whole.
“Thank you again,” her father said with a touch of breathlessness as he set
the little boy back down.
“It was no problem,” Sapphire smiled. There was a wild animal inside of her,
clawing and scratching and tearing her heart to shreds and she didn’t know how
much longer she could survive. So she quickly bent down and placed a kiss on
Robin’s pale forehead.
“Take care,” she managed, and with a final wrench of her heart she turned
and forced herself to walk away, step by step, from the life she could’ve had.
Mortal. Happy. Loved.
I love you I love you I love you, she
thought, silently begging them to recognise her.
Stop it, she scolded herself.
They were never your family, remember?
You’re the only you.
The only you in the world…
A/N Just to be clear btw, my real name isn't Lucy :P And if you've managed to read down to the bottom, you deserve a virtual cookie (::) (::) (::) (::) :D